Quite simply, I'm not.
Between going back to my second job and the daily cases rising, I have been really struggling with my anxiety the past few weeks. Just for some background info, I'm currently working as an afterschool teacher in a Montessori Monday to Friday, then on Saturdays, I teach in a music school. On the weekday mornings, I'm also doing an Irish language course so that I can hopefully do my primary teacher training next September.
This may not seem like the busiest week, but after being off for six months, it is a very busy week, my foot is still not fully back to normal and I am finding getting public transport or being around a lot of people very scary.
Mainly I am finding my anxiety creeps up on Friday evening before I have to go and teach the next day. I think teaching singing to adults is just freaking me out a bit. Most are fine with wearing a mask, and I'm wearing a mask, but I don't know what it is, I just haven't settled into feeling comfortable with it. Also, maybe its something to do with all of my Saturday students being totally new to me. It's tough.
Calm but strange
I love my job at the Montessori. I love the kids. I'm so happy yo have my own little classroom this year and I have it decorated so nice with lots of handmade decorations I made with the children. Today there was a confirmed case of covid in the Montessori but I feel strangely okay about it. The case was in a different 'pod' so hopefully, my class are okay, it's a waiting game really.
This evening, the country moves into level 5 of covid restrictions, meaning everything non-essential will be closed. I'm feeling oddly chill about it. I think on some level I feel a bit safer, but at the same time, I truly miss travelling and going out for dinner. I'm just really sick of this whole covid situation and want life to go back to normal. I want to go to Disneyland. I'm sad that Halloween is basically cancelled and we can't even go pumpkin picking due to the travel restrictions (must stay within 5km of your home). It's definitely strange that we are still going to work but everything else is closed and we can't even visit family.
All in all, I know this blog post is kind of a miss-match of my thoughts just poured onto the page, but to be honest, that perfectly describes how I'm feeling. One minute I'm perfectly content, the next I'm riddled with anxiety and can't think straight.
I'm doing my absolute best to keep myself busy and occupied, focussing my energy on Halloween and work and my Irish course, but at the end of the day, it's super important that I remember I and doing my best, and that is enough.
I hope you're coping okay, always talk it out if you're feeling down in the dumps, and remember, baby Yoda is always there for you.