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Goodbye 2021

Shingles, job hunting and the lose of loved ones.

This year has been filled with ups and downs and to be fully honest, I'm glad to see the back of it. I am hoping, praying and manifesting that 2022 is a better one.


On new years day in 2021, I was almost brought to A&E because of a painful and mysterious rash on my face. I say 'almost', when in reality, I refused to go. I had already spent enough time in hospital in 2020 with my broken ankle, I wasn't going back again. So instead of waiting in A&E for hours on New Years Day, we decided to try a pharmacy, and see if they had any idea what it might be. As soon as he saw me, the pharmacist knew it was shingles. He told me the best thing to do was organize a video doctor consultation so I could get prescribed the drugs I needed to slow the virus (shingles is not treatable once you have it, but can be slowed if caught on time). The doc confirmed it was shingles and prescribed the meds, but I had no idea the toll it would take on my body. By the end of January I was on sick leave, still covered in shingle sores and super lethargic, the sore were all down the left side of my face, in my nostrils and across my head like a headband. It took until almost march before the sores were gone and even then I was left swollen and sore with nerve damage across my head that I still have today. The doctors say I have long-covid, as a result of having Covid-19 in early 2020 and they don't know how long it will last.


In late March, I was starting to feel well again but my immune system was so low and I was still waiting to be vaccinated against covid, so I felt it wasn't safe for me to work in childcare any longer. I began looking for a job where I could potentially work from home, or at least, not be around so many people. Despite my physical health not being the best, my mental health was the best it had been in years. The lockdowns were a roller-coaster, but taking a step back did me the world of good and I decided I was strong enough to wean myself off my antidepressants.


The job hunt however, was not as easy as it might have seemed. I started off looking for a position in digital marketing, the field I want to work in, but slowly found I wasn't getting anywhere and widened my search. In May, I started working for a tech-sales company as a back office processor, which could have been great, but the lady training me decided the moment she met me that I wasn't her cup of tea. I won't go into details, or point finger or name names, not everyone is going to like me and that's fine, but this ended in the manager asking e to reconsider my position due to having ADHD and whether I was truly capable for the role. I could have fought it, but I didn't want to be where I wasn't wanted, so I told them what I thought of them, went to HR and the Director above the team and left. It was a blow. It had me worrying that I was the problem, but my boyfriend witnessed a lot of it through us both working from home so thankfully I know I'm not making it up.


I went back to the drawing board but by mid July, I had nothing, not even an interview lined up, until I saw that the Montessori I had left was now looking for a manager. Immediately, I called my old manager to chat about the role and what it could be and it was budding with possibilities. The only problem was, the salary was not great, but I was willing to take it for a job I loved and the potential for increase. I would start in late August and would even be fully vaccinated by then! Woohoo!


In August, we lost my great aunt Marlene, not to covid, but I blame covid. She was in her 80s and no one could see her for over a year due to the restrictions, it was sad that I hadn't seen her in such a long time, and then she was gone. Europe had opened its boarders and Keith and I decided it was about time we took a holiday, unfortunately, Marlene's funeral was during the week we had booked. We chatted to my family and decided that Marlene loved to travel and would have preferred if we went, we could always tune into the live stream while we were away. We flew off to Marbella and stayed in my parent's Marriott timeshare for a week of pure rest and relaxation. It was just what we needed,




So came the time to begin my new job at my old job and I was incredibly excited, but from the beginning there were red flags. Again, I don't want o point fingers or name names, I am still incredibly fond of the gorgeous women who run the Montessori, but we were unfortunately on different pages. I hoped it was just teething problems, we discussed my issues but but by Halloween, I knew it was not going to work and handed in my notice, to leave just before Christmas.


September and October were hard. My Gran was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer after 6 weeks of inconclusive testing. At first the doctors thought we would have months, that Gran could come home and live a few more happy months with her family, but unfortunately, the cancer took her on October 9th. It was a shock to us all and I still haven't processed it. Not having her around this Christmas has been incredibly hard and I have tears in my eyes writing this. I've learned that growing old means losing some of the people you love and that never gets easier, but it is part of life. And "what is grief, if not love persevering?"


My dad was not left with his mum and his aunts estates to organize, so himself and his brother offered for us to live in Marlene's house and look after it while it's in probate, so that's what we're doing. We moved in in mid November and it's kept us extremely busy making it our home. My family also finally got to go back to Disney in November for the first time since 2019 and it was so good to be back surrounded by the magic of Disney.


Now I sit here, pouring out my feeling,writing this blog post on December 31st, because I just could not bare to make a 2021 recap reel on Instagram, and I am OK. I have finally got a job, that I start in late January, we're about to order a pizza and we plan on ringing in the new year watching Marvel movies and drinking wine! Lets hope next year we can party and live our roaring twenties fantasies!


So here's to 2022! May it bring us all the joy we need and may we live and be happy!


Happy New Year!


Robyn xxx


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